The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I have fence marks all over my body
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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