this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
