You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
did i just pee glitter
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
