Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
