I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Randomize
