She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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