she looked like the before picture.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
