so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
