strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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