i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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