why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
