No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
