now i know why i became what i already was.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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