it wasn't lemon gatorade
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
