that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
