Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
