Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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