You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
