She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
