batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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