My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
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i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
they call him Oral-B. enough said
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
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SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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