so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
