I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
