I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize