Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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