Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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