Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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