its not stalking. its research.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
