you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
