U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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