Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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