Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
