she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
