Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
