well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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