i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
