You don't have asthma, your pregnant
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
