I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
