i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
