im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize