I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize