How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Randomize