That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
