Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
