i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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