I bet he comes in French.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
