i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
