they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
