I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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