I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Randomize
