You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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