I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So. Much. Porn.
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