everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
