I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
