There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What a dumb baby whore.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
