I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
