So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize