they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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