You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
