She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
